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The 5 Dumbest Things Tony Stark does in Captain America: Civil War

The 5 Dumbest Things Tony Stark does in Captain America: Civil War

While Tony Stark is a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, there may be a reason he is no longer the chief strategist of the Avengers. Throughout the course of Civil War, he makes a series of misguided choices that are both rookie mistakes, as well as go against his own philosophy. Way to be a hypocrite, Iron Man. 

1. Ignores the Lesson He Just Learned

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At the start of the film, Tony is confronted in the backhalls of MIT by a grieving mother, who blames him for the death of her son, a high-achieving, young man who happened to be abroad in Sokovia during the events of Age of Ultron. Tony channels his guilt about the event into a speech used to convince the current Avengers that they need to be "put in check." It is a powerful, and convincing tale, one of an innocent, well-meaning teen dying at the hands of a group of godlike heroes.

So what does Tony do later in the movie? Oh yeah, he swings over to Queens to go recruit Peter Parker, a teenager with the most pre-pubescent voice Marvel could find, to fight in a huge battle for him. A fight, which Peter Parker has no stake in. So, with nothing to go on about this kid besides a few blurry videos of him swinging around, Tony ships him off to Europe to become Captain America's punching bag. Tony goes out of his way to neglect the turmoil that caused him to stand for accountability in the first place to stack his superhero team. 

2. Doesn't Use his Best Asset

Okay, so you are Tony Stark, and your team consists of a guy in a robot suit, a Russian assassin in spandex, a furry with a vendetta, Underoos, and oh yeah, your electronic butler whose consciousness got transferred into an indestructible body with a stone that controls the universe smashed into his forehead. Who would you choose to be your star player? The answer should be obvious, but not if you are Tony Stark. During the huge airport fight in the middle of the movie, Vision does as little work as possible. His greatest contributions to the fight were knocking over Giantman and crippling Don Cheadle.

This is perhaps one of the strongest beings in the entire universe, and he acts as the Hawkeye of this team. In terms of delegating who should do what, it seems Tony just told him to stay out of Spider-man's spotlight.

3. Decisively Goes Against Everything He Stands For

Recapping the political plot line of Civil War, due to the Avenger's worldwide vigilante battles that decimate multiple cities around the globe, the United Nations passes the Sokovia Accords. This decision puts the UN in control of the Avengers, allowing them to hold a council to decide when the Avengers are needed. Tony Stark totes agrees with this, and spends the movie trying to convince Cap that it's for the best.

But, they don't see eye to eye, and when Cap and half the Avengers go rogue, Tony completely ignores the Accords and gathers the rest of the Avengers to go fight. If your stance is that you need permission to fight, and the first fight that is presented, you rush off at a moments notice, that is definitely going against your word.

Of course, you could say he did get permission because he asked US Secretary of State Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross for the go ahead, but that doesn't cut it. One supporting actor from the failed Incredible Hulk franchise should not be speaking for the entire UN.

4. Forgets Cap's Objective

Final point involving the airport fight sequence, Tony Stark seems to forget the entire purpose they are battling in an airport: Cap needs to steal a jet. Of course, Tony doesn't explicitly know this, but why else would Cap be running around a mysteriously abandoned German airport? And, as we see, there is one specific jet they are headed towards. The most logical way for Tony to end the fight would be to destroy or disable the jet. Now, you might be thinking that Tony Stark doesn't want to go blowing up super expensive jets, except that money means nothing to him. In Iron Man 3, he put on a multi-billionaire dollar fireworks show by blowing up all his suits just to please his girlfriend! She dumped him in this movie, by the way. 

Really, the only one who actually does anything about the jet is the huge waste of potential known as Vision. But instead of destroying the jet with his brain laser, he demolishes the airport's watch tower hoping the debris will stop Cap and Bucky from reaching the jet hangar, which, spoiler alert, it doesn't. And, again, even though this airport is evacuated, there are ALWAYS people in the watchtower monitoring the skies, so thanks for those unnecessary murders, Vision.

5. Completely Disregards his Greatest Advantage

This final segment involves the final fight between Iron Man and the Dynamic Punching Duo. So, Tony follows Cap and Bucky into a James Bond set piece, in order to track down Helmut Zemo. Apparently, Zemo wanted to use the base as a defunct Blockbuster Video to find a VHS tape to show Tony his parents' murders at the hands of none other than a brainwashed Bucky Barnes. 

It is not hard to see why this may have upset Tony. The guy right next to you murdered your family; He has a right to get pissed. However, after having twenty years to cope with his parents' deaths and being under constant stress from being a self proclaimed genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist with PTSD from an alien invasion, you'd think Tony Stark could keep a level head long enough to be rational. 

See, being Iron Man and all, Tony probably should have realized his biggest advantage over Cap and Bucky, two people who can't fly and fight with their fists, is that he can easily fly up in the air and safely shoot missiles at their faces, with little resistance. It is pretty hard to get punched when you are twenty feet in the air. But, he stays grounded.

If you had to bet on a fight between a flying death machine, and two buff dudes who punch things, my money is 100% on Iron Man. But, Captain America has beaten these odds before. In The Winter Soldier, he managed to take down three massive flying assassination machines. How? Well, imagine you had to fight a fighter jet. Would you rather have it flying a mile up in the air shooting missiles at you, or on the ground unable to turn in a circle? Cap got close enough to them that the guns were no longer a threat, and attacked them head on. Likewise, having Iron Man right next to you is a lot safer than having him flying above you. It stifles his mobility, and renders most of his weapons useless. Tony Stark isn't going to shoot a missile at a person who is a foot a way from him. 

Of course, Tony totally forgets this. Furthermore, knowing his opponents are masters of hand-to-hand combat, he decided the best plan was to engage them in a fist fight. If I had to fight to Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan at the same time, and I owned twenty guns and a jetpack, I wouldn't run up and try to punch them in the face, because that would be stupid. Tony Stark did just that, because he is stupid. Let me propose a better strategy for you, Tony: 1) Fly out of the base 2) Blow up their aircraft 3) Fly off in the sunset, leaving Cap and Bucky stranded on an iceberg to revert back to their frozen states. Done.

 

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